Category: News

Hey readers, just an update on the new Paizo RPG review. It’s not happening anymore.

This name has been attached to some pretty peachy games in the past, but I just can’t get into this one. It’s just too inscrutable. Paizo’s introduction to the new rules gets completely off topic and doesn’t bother explaining the basic rules governing play. It’s like they’re just playing a game of their own and ignoring the video manual.

Like, it’s great that you’re enjoying the thing and the whole “your digital character interprets your thoughts according to their stats” bit is neat, but how about some teaching? How do you sync your neural aug with the game (I paid good money for this thing)? How did you build your Jill character? Why? Do whatever skills you’re using in the service role have some kind of function in combat? I have no idea how this fits together into a fun tabletop experience, and I’m done trying to find out.

By the way, building a great big neat setting and never leaving a stupid bar is a pretty lame way to play, guys.

Glitch City is baffled. A intercity bar called VA-11 HALL-A has recently become the center of global attention. Virtually indistinguishable from the other properties operated by the parent megacorporation, the rundown dive possesses no redeeming qualities, no unique drinks, and an abundance of poorly mannered clientele. (According to rumor, the local corgis have done terrible things to the bathroom facilities.)

Nonetheless, prestigious outlets from across the globe have written numerous articles about the bar, leaving officials flummoxed. “We don’t know what’s happening,” said a source on the municipal board. “But we think this is a good thing.”

Officials believe that this unprecedented level of attention will result in an onslaught of tourists, and are planning to address this influx of visitors accordingly.

“We need to build more fast food places,” said another anonymous contact in the local government. “How else will people be able to integrate nanomachines quickly? There’s the risk that their immune system will reject our airborne units.”

“I hope they bring foreign money,” said a random person on the street. “Also, what’s all this mention of cyberpunk bartending? It’s just a broad in a dank bar. And what do they mean play? Unlicensed people can’t serve alcohol!!”

Pundits believe that the first wave of tourists will appear June 21st. For the purpose of posterity, we have included a round-up of foreign write-ups on our beloved city.

VA-11 HALL-A serves up cyberpunk bartending on June 21st. (PCGamesN)
Get ready to play as a cyberpunk bartender later this month. (Kill Screen.)
Cyberpunk Bartender Simulator VA-11 HALL-A to be Released On June 21st. (Hardcoregamer)
VA-11 HALL-A for PC launches June 21st. (Gematsu)
Cyberpunk Bartending Sim VA-11 HALL-A Releasing June 21st (Siliconera.)